I learnt a very important lesson in forgiveness today.
I’m often very torn when it comes to forgiving people. I’ve always felt that when I forgive someone, I’m doing wrong to myself. Yet if I don’t forgive that person, I feel awful. And then I realized, I have never really tried to separate the act from the person.
To me at least, I have always taken the thing that the person has done to hurt me as part of the person himself or herself. Which is why there is this feeling of betraying myself when I try to forgive someone.
But forgiveness does not mean that I condone or accept the wrong you have done to me. Forgiveness means that I am able to see you as separate from the act. Forgiveness means I can look you in the eye and still trust you.
Forgiving is really really hard.