Friday, July 31, 2009


Phoenix, Arizona.

Very hot. Very very hot. Extremely hot. Enough to vaporise a person.

And dry. Very very dry. Extremely dry. Enough to dehydrate a person.

It's an interesting place, this, semi-arid landscape and all. How the native Americans actually once inhabited this land and made a living out of it. Often, I stand in awe of those who have gone before, at their passion for life, their tenacity and their ingenuity.

I wonder, if I can fry an egg on a car bonnet out in the sun?

Thursday, July 30, 2009

3-Lb oRgaN

In San Diego now.

I went for the Body Worlds exhibition - the focus for this series of exhibits is on the brain. It was an eye-opening experience. To see the human brain bare before me. While contemplating the mysteries of this 3-pound organ.

I am who I am, of my brain.

Monday, July 27, 2009


Yesterday, I fulfilled my longtime dream of walking down Hollywood Boulevard. It was an emotional and exhilirating time for me personally. To see the glitz and the glamour of Hollywood-land. To mingle with the thousands of people who come to catch a glimpse of their idols. To just BE in Hollywood.

So much happens here. What we can see. What we cannot see. The fruition of ambitions. The destruction of hopes.

Did you know?

Hollywood Boulevard is also known as the Street of Broken Dreams.

Sunday, July 26, 2009

bRokEN DowN

Only Day 3 and my phone-cum-camera is out of order. I wonder how I will survive the next 7 weeks without a phone or a camera. It is interesting how dependent I have become on these gadgets. Where not long ago I was content to be without them.

They say necessity is the mother of invention.

We shall see.

Friday, July 24, 2009

hELlo LA!

So here I am in LA, time-zones completely out of whack, but thoroughly enjoying myself. I'm surprised by how non-jet-lagged I feel (despite having flown for almost 20 hours), although I notice that my eyes are starting to glaze over more frequently in the last few hours.


Wednesday, July 22, 2009


So tomorrow I leave, for my 7-week vacation. The quiet anticipation is finally bubbling over, into a frenzy of last-minute packing, unpacking and packing again. It surprises me how much I cannot do without. Familiar creature comforts I cannot bear to leave behind. Familiar faces I find difficult to say goodbye to.

Fare thee well, my friends.

PS. Stay tuned for updates of my trip... I've decided to bring Roger ThinkPad along.

Monday, July 20, 2009


“Approximately 130 human papillomavirus types have been identified.”

And it seems, like a never-ending battle.

Saturday, July 18, 2009

seCOnD cHaNCes

If I had a chance to do it all over again, would I still make the same choices I had before? I would, because these are the experiences that have shaped me into the person I am today. And I make no apology for me. Yet perhaps the way in which I react to things would be different. I suppose with the perspective of experience, I know better how to deal with the ups and downs of life.

No wonder.

Life looks different the second time round.


A friend asked if I had any agenda going to the US, or whether I was just going to wander around aimlessly. It’s an interesting question, one that I haven’t really thought about myself. I suppose to a lot of people, going so far away for almost 2 months, on a holiday, is just something they haven’t really thought about either.

It has been a long-time dream of mine, going to the US. For some reason, the country fascinates me. I love the diversity that is inherent in the place and the peoples. I love the idea of liberty and freedom for all. I, too, want to go in search of the big American dream.

They say perspectives change. And that change is the only constant. I wonder what happened to the Mickey and Minnie I met the first time I was in Disneyland almost 25 years ago.


Thursday, July 16, 2009

fALlinG DOwn

Many years ago I fell down a flight of steps. Or rather, I flew down it. I don’t know how it happened, except that one minute I was on the top step and the next I was splayed out on all fours on the ground right at the bottom. Nothing as dramatic as the whole of my life flashed before my eyes. Maybe it wasn’t enough of a near-death experience. I didn’t hurt, not even with my bleeding knees and fingers, bruised pelvis and shins.

High, high, on adrenaline high.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

cOFfeE & RaiN

It rained overnight, bringing some respite to the warm weather. I like listening to the raindrops hitting the ground. In the cold still air, the echoes sound crisp and clear. Like the world feels new and fresh after a wash.

I had too much coffee last night, the caffeine still buzzing in my ears now. Was with a group of good friends from high school, and I always enjoy our company together. And remain humbled by our friendship that has lasted close to two decades.

Coffee and rain, my tastes have changed.

Drip-drop. Drip-drop. Drip-drop.

Monday, July 13, 2009


I am flying off to the US next week, and the excitement that has been building up over the last few weeks is strangely muted. I can’t wait for the day to come actually, just so I can start doing something instead of sitting here in front of my laptop reading abstract guidebooks and planning. Just like how too many cooks can spoil the soup, too much research can spoil the holiday.

Whereas I think it is about keeping an open mind. To explore and experience all that is new and different. Instead of sticking with the tried and tested.

Don’t lose touch!

Sunday, July 12, 2009


"Let us hope that we are all preceded in this world by a love story."

(Don Snyder)

Saturday, July 11, 2009


From my new phone. One of my favourite moments of the day.

Wednesday, July 8, 2009


"You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself in any direction you choose.
You're on your own.
And you know what you know.
You are the guy who'll decide where to go."

(Dr. Seuss)


“Only pigs sweat. Humans perspire,” my teacher said. That was many years ago, in an English class. She was exasperated with us for using “sweating” indiscriminately between humans and pigs, no doubt. Funny the things our teachers teach us. Funnier the things we remember.

I’ve been looking at going to graduate school next year, so my mind has been on double-time researching schools, and places to visit in the US. Happily though, some of them coincide. Now I’m torn between whether to set up a meeting with the faculty, or content myself with the massive amount of information I can get online.

Will my mind still be able to stand up to intellectual rigour after a 10-year hiatus?


Tuesday, July 7, 2009


Empathy: Going “Ouch!” when the person on TV is hurt.

Sunday, July 5, 2009

aCcePT loVe

They tell me, that with acceptance comes freedom. But I’m not so sure. Sometimes the acceptance is coerced. Because we do not have a choice.

They also tell me, that with acceptance comes love. But I’m not so sure. Acceptance does not necessarily mean I agree with what has been. It could merely mean I don’t have the strength to fight against it anymore.

To the extent that we love, so do we accept the love we think we deserve.

It's RaiNIng

The way I think about the world around me shapes my reality. And yet reality is also what informs the way I think about the world around me. The question, though, is what is reality? However much I want to believe in an objective reality, I very much doubt that it exists. Reality is always perceived by a point of view, always subjective. That is not to say that we do not participate in one another’s reality. I like to think of the world as a Venn diagram with the many circles intersecting – shared truths about the world around us.

Rainy days give me goosebumps and strange ideas.

Saturday, July 4, 2009


I have been obsessing over something for a long time. But even though I know it is unhealthy for me, I still do it. I still continue to obsess over it, until it consumes my thoughts day and night. Like a bad habit. It’s easy to fall into a familiar pattern of thinking and behaving.

Unfortunately, this obsession is a little secret of mine. So I am unable to share it with anyone else. So it continues to weigh me down. So it continues to haunt me. And in all of this, I am alone. Which isn’t as scary as the obsession itself.

Be careful what you wish for.

Friday, July 3, 2009


I did a 30-minute jog last night. It has been a long time since jogging felt so rhythmic. For a while, I reached that stage where I felt as if I could run forever. That sense of flight and freedom is indescribable.

I did a 30-minute jog this morning. It felt clumsy, like my legs were out of sync with each other. While I was struggling for my next breath, I was fighting the urge to stop running. That left me in a state of discomfiture.

I need to lose weight!

Thursday, July 2, 2009


My biggest quandary these days has been whether to bring Roger ThinkPad along with me on my upcoming US trip. On the one hand, I am very dependent on him for all my usual daily routines like surfing the internet and writing. On the other hand, I worry about having to worry about his safety when I’m out exploring. It’s been a bit of a headache for me, thinking about this.

So I bought this snazzy new phone couple months back, boasting of Wi-Fi capabilities. I’ve been playing with it and although Wi-Fi works well and fine, it is a bit difficult to surf the internet using such a small interface. Neither does it have some form of OS where I can save my writings (to begin with, there’s no way to write notes unless I use the “save message” function in my message draft box.)

To bring or not to bring? What do you think?