I have always been quite comfortable with my self, despite the constant chattering in my head. I suspect it’s an age thing. The older I grow, the more I can tolerate myself. I can sit alone for hours, caught up in my own thoughts or just generally watching the world go by. Guess I’m lucky in that sense. Or maybe, I’m just awkward with people.
A lot of things change when one grows older, as I’m slowly coming to realise. And it’s not just physical changes, like love handles or wrinkles that won’t go away. It affects my head too. My mind is filled with so many worries about not being able to fit into student life again. Of course, it didn’t help when I discovered at enrolment today that my undergraduate academic transcript is no longer valid as a proof of identification as it is more than 10 years old (but my credit card is totally acceptable).
So yes, even as I look forward to the start of school, my enthusiasm is tempered with caution. Because the fire of passion in me now glows rather than flames.
It is not impossible to teach an old dog new tricks, perhaps it just takes longer.