Monday, March 19, 2012


Recently I have found myself in too many situations where words fail me.  Instead I feel a rush of too many complex emotions that I have no names for.  And this unsettles me.  For words have been my way of making sense of the world.  Words have helped me come to terms with life.  And recently, I feel as if I have lost my compass.

I have learned that people here use the phrase “I am sorry” or some such variation during difficult situations.  It took me a long time to figure out that that is actually an expression of sorrow, a way of expressing solidarity and compassion.  Strangely, I find it a difficult phrase to use.  It doesn’t come quite naturally and spontaneously to me.

One would think that with time and life, one would have gone through sufficient experiences to be somewhat prepared for all manner of unexpected situations.  Yet perhaps not.  The pain of someone else’s loss is both profound and awkward.  I hear each story, I look at each person, and I am in awe of their strength and resilience.

Looking up at the stars, under the immensity of the universe, words fail me.

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