i Am...

I used to have crushes. I used to write love-notes. I used to shower people whom I have a crush on with my love-notes. I was relentless yet coy in my pursuit of them. I am smart in that way.

The crushes were harmless enough. There were only three categories of people I had crushes on. They were either youth leaders in church, or teachers in school, or seniors in school. They became substitutes for the elder brother or sister I do not have. I am needy in that way.

The love-notes were different enough. There were the straightforward letters and cards expressing my gratitude for their friendship. There were the handmade gifts like bookmarks for their birthdays. And when it was someone who really meant a lot to me, I would compose poems using their names. I am creative in that way.

Some of these people I have completely lost touch with. Some of them have become good friends now. Some of them were friends for a little while but life took us in different directions. But I still remember every single one of them, as if we had just met yesterday. I am sentimental in that way.

I no longer have crushes. I no longer write love-notes. Crushes are over-rated. So are love-notes. Now I can stalk people on facebook, I can email and MSN, I can call and SMS. No point killing the earth with my precious and pretty note-paper.

I am realistic in that way.
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