fAt & VaiN

I’m growing fat! Well, I’m getting heavier. And clothes are becoming un-wearable… which is disturbing. I try to console myself that I am gaining muscle mass, that’s why I’m heavier. But does increasing muscle mass also come with additional bulk around the tummy and butts?!

The only other time I had weight concerns was when I came back from New Zealand after my first year of university there. I think I put on something like 10kgs, and my family claims they could not recognize me at the airport, which was disturbing as well.

Weight hasn’t really been an issue with me. Until recently. Because a fat body makes it very difficult to follow-on and catch-up with ballet lessons. While all my classmates look like they are floating and prancing weightless in the studio, I feel like an anchor rooted to the floor, and my poor ankles and toes are crying out in pain.

I am disturbed that I am so disturbed about my weight. Oh vanity of vanities!