My fRiEnd

Once, an Elder told me he made a decision to be my friend. He said this friendship wasn't based on my behavior or how I acted; he said the friendship was based on his decision. He decided to be my friend. This friendship has happened like he said. Even if I don't see him for a long time, or if I get mad at him, he has never changed his decision.

This is true friendship.
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hUMpty-DuMpTy

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bEcaUSe

“Don’t come near me,” I said.
“Why not?” he asked.
“Just because,” I faltered.

Because I’ve tried so long to forget you.
Because I’ve tried so hard to forgive you.
Because you bring along storms I cannot weather.
Because you leave behind destruction I cannot face.

“So don’t,” I said, “don’t come near me. Because it’s so much easier to sit down and wait to be picked up in your embrace.”
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DisCoveRy

I've discovered, there's no graceful way to sneeze.
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MeaNiNG & LifE

I’ve been pondering a lot about life. And the meaning of life. For some reason, it is extremely important to me that I figure it out. To what end, I am unsure, except that there is always this nagging inside my head.

And I’ve been puzzling over this: whether I give meaning to the things that I do, or whether the things I do give meaning to my life?
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dEciDeD

It was not an easy decision to give up my market research career to pursue speech therapy. Especially when it’s the transition period now and things are still in a flux. As I hear my friends talk about the market research industry, I sometimes feel very out-of-place. It is not without a tinge of sadness that I recall the last 9 years of my life, my glories and my failures in the market research world.

Yet a decision has been made, and I have been told it’s better to look forward than backward. So also I wait with bated breath for the results of my grad school applications.

It’s just that the grass always looks greener on the other side.
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LoTteRy

I bought lottery the other day. $14 worth of lottery. I wanted a shot at becoming a millionaire.

It was an interesting experience buying the lottery ticket. First, I discovered that there are many different types of lottery that one can buy. Then there are multiple permutations of different number combinations you can buy. And of course, different monetary values you can win.

What really caught my eye, though, were the people queuing to buy lottery. The quiet determination with which they filled out the tickets, the self-satisfaction that lined their faces as they paid. As if each of them was privy to the special combination of numbers that would win them the top prize.

Unfortunately, I didn’t win anything.

But who can deny, we all hope to get a piece of heaven.
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aPpLicATioN

It’s been a couple of weeks since I submitted my application to Sydney University, but I haven’t heard from them yet. I should not be panicking, because results will only be out end November. Yet it is difficult to curb my anxiety (and my impatience).

When you’re waiting for something, your world sort of gets turned upside down. It’s difficult to focus on things right at hand, as at the back of your mind, you are perpetually fretting about this one thing. And this one thing occupies your imagination for better or for worse. Like a kind of learned helplessness. While you wait.

Waiting, at eternity’s gate.
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cLouDs

I haven’t lain down on the grass and looked at the sky in a long time. In fact, I can’t even remember when was the last time I did that – tracing clouds with my fingers and making up stories in my head.

In my quest for human perfection, which is an oxymoron in itself, I might have forgotten how to enjoy some of the simpler pleasures of life. Like greeting a neighbour in the lift. Or playing with children. Or reading a good book. Or laughing with friends.

It’s very easy, really.
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GRE

One of the highlights of applying to graduate school in the US has to be the Graduate Record Examination.

Preparing for the GRE is turning out to be a lot more stressful than I originally thought. There are word lists to memorise, math theorems to remember, issues to be analysed, essays to be written. My mind is tumbling over from just thinking about it.

So I bought a prep book the other day. A thick fat volume with model tests and practice exercises. And tips that promise to help me ace my exam.

I look at the questions and my mind draws a blank.
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ThE bLueS

Come this time of year, I tend to be a bit more pensive/ philosophical/ thoughtful/ reflective. I brood more, and my already melancholic self thrives. Every cloud seems to have lost its silver lining, every rainbow missing the seven pots of gold. And I feel a bit disjointed from reality.

I call it my October blues.
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tiReD

I’ve been dogged by this extreme feeling of tiredness for some time now. I fall asleep everywhere! On the train, while I’m reading, even when I’m working at my laptop. It’s bizarre. I haven’t felt so tired in a very long while. And it’s not like I’m doing hard labour all day, every day. It’s just very weird.

I wonder what’s wrong.
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goALs

There are many things to prepare in applying to graduate school, not the least of which is writing my personal goal statements. The questions always revolve around why I want to study speech therapy and what distinguishes me from the other candidates. Either of which can risk sounding really banal, or over-the-top.

When all I want to do is to help people.

I feel called in this way.
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